Hey yo Ice Cream man!
Holy fucking shit wait up!!!!
Wow okay fuck you.
how do you make friends in college do i just grab onto someone and scream YOU’RE MINE or what
the girl sitting next to me in class is wearing the same shirt as me in a different colour and we keep awkwardly looking at each other like do I say something or just sit here help
i said ‘nice shirt’ and she said ‘better than yours’ i’m done
i wish i was one of those girls who thought they were ugly but are actually really pretty
but instead i’m one of those girls who thinks they’re ugly and is actually ugly
- me: oh man my show is on i'm so excited to sit down and watch television for an hour
- mom: turns on every sink in the house grinds coffee beans for five minutes reorganizes every pan in the cupboard starts a rock band
If my mom knew I had 57 tumblr followers she would stop telling me what to do.
guys who get really competitive in gym are so scary like it’s just high school gym why are u soo angry that u lost a game of volleyball
so my parents just came home from the shops and told me that they got a new toilet seat
Yes those are dolphins and shells.
But wait until you open the fucking thing
my parents bought a LIGHT UP TOILET SEAT
I am so fucking done
at least you can pee in the middle of the night without turning on the bathroom light
earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
I THOUGHT THAT WAS ACTUALLY A GIANT CAT IN A HOUSE UNTIL I REALIZED HOW STUPID THAT IS AND HE’S IN A DOLL HOUSE